so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
