I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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