I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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