i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
