Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
