Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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