Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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