this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
