You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
