It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
