Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize