so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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