i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
