yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
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Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
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Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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