did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize