took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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