I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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