I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
smell my finger.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
