Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
