3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
