just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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