Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize