Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
