Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
