considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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