I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
