so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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