If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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