i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
