there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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