And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
