Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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