At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
As shirtless as possible
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I said "one day" and that day is not today
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
