No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
