took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
