shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
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I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
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I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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