My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
