she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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