Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
