Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
