idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
