she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
