I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I want a musical about memes.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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