none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
