If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
that is very illegal...i love you.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
