That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
