I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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