How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
