You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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