I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
