I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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