I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I did not marry a roomba.
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