At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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